*This is an excerpt from my new book out now – All In This Together: Stories and Teachings for Loving Each Other and Our World
Dear friends,
When we speak of respect, we’re talking about something deeper than manners. True respect is the recognition of another being’s sovereignty—their right to be who they are. It’s a form of love.
There’s an old story from the time of King Arthur that carries this wisdom in its bones. Sir Gawain, one of the youngest knights at the round table, once became lost in a dark forest. He found a well, drank from it, and was confronted by a fearsome hag who accused him of stealing her water. She demanded that he make it right.
Bound by his word as a knight, Gawain promised to do whatever she asked. To his horror, she replied, “Then you must marry me.”
Seeing his distress, she offered him one chance of escape: if he could return in a year with the answer to a single question, she would release him. The question was simple but unanswerable—What do women want?
Gawain set off on a long quest. He asked every woman he met: the rich and the poor, the old and the young, the wise and the wild. Each had a different answer. Wealth, love, children, beauty, freedom—he filled an entire book with responses. But none were true.
At the end of the year, bound by his promise, Gawain returned to the forest to marry the hag. As he bent to kiss her on their wedding night, her form changed before his eyes. She became a radiant woman, freed from her spell.
She told him, “You have broken the enchantment, for the answer to my question came from your own lips. What do women want? What every human wants: our sovereignty. We wish to be free to choose our own way. We all want to be honored for who we are. What we long for most is respect.”
In that moment, the story opens into a universal truth. Every being wants to be seen and respected—to live without someone else’s “you should” or “you must.”
This kind of respect is not sentimental. It’s a courageous act of recognition. It says, I see your wholeness, even when it’s hidden.
The Buddha spoke of this as seeing with the eyes of compassion. Ajahn Chah called it bowing to what’s true. However you name it, it’s the foundation of every healthy relationship—with each other, with the earth, and within ourselves.
Take a breath and consider: Are you meeting this moment with respect? Are you honoring your own dignity and the dignity of others?
Respect is the soil of awakening. When we tend to it, love and freedom naturally bloom.
With metta,
Jack
