“Remember, even the Buddha and Jesus had a difficult time returning home to their families.” – Jack Kornfield

Autumn greetings, dear one,

Sometimes it can be difficult to go home for the holidays. We’ve been meditating, learning to be more patient, feeling that we’ve grown a little. Then someone in the family says something, and suddenly we’re twelve years old again. Here we are.

My friend and colleague Ram Dass and I smiled as we spoke of how we are all assigned our life roles by “central casting.” In this incarnation, you find yourself in this body, in this family, with these particular people. And you think, “Really? This is my assignment? I would have made a few changes.” But here you find yourself. And the question becomes:

Can we live from love in the midst of exactly where we find ourselves?

Love is the assignment. All the trouble that comes up is not a mistake. It is the place to learn love. The anger, the disappointment, the longing for someone to finally understand us is part of our practice of love. We can begin by recognizing what hurts, what matters to me. Then we can listen to what is needed with a little more heart.

Maybe your family is a gracious one, where all are held in kindness. Blessed be.

But for others, family is not so easy. Let love lead you. Listen to one another with care. Sometimes love asks us to speak honestly, or to step away and take care of ourselves. What would a wise and compassionate response be? Patience helps. Suzuki Roshi writes:

It takes as long as it takes.

Let gratitude grow. Notice all the goodness that is here alongside the difficulty. Someone has prepared a meal. A friend has remembered to call. For a moment, we find ourselves laughing together. Let it touch you.

As the holidays approach, take time to become quiet and sense what you are grateful for. Let yourself feel the people and the kindness that have sustained your life. And if sadness comes, give that a place in your heart as well. Remember, it takes as long as it takes.

The invitation is to be here with life and love anyway.

May your own wisdom and compassion and best intentions serve you and all those around you this holiday season.

With blessings,
Jack

For a deeper dive into staying patient and present this holiday season, listen to Heart Wisdom, Episode 336: “It Takes as Long as It Takes: Patience and Presence on the Path.”